ANGELYNE

The Hollywood Roosevelt

Hollywood, CA

May 22, 2000

Photo refused by: Angelyne

If you were in L.A. in the 80s you likely saw her self-promotion. Angelyne posted suggestive pictures of herself on billboards all around town. Hollywood mostly. I think she is a singer, or maybe she wanted to be an actress but in the meantime, she made herself a local icon. She has big blonde hair, wears teeny little clothes and gobs of make-up. She still lives here—drives a late model, signature pink Corvette with a vanity plate sporting some combination of the letters A-N-G-E-L-Y-N-E.

I was walking through the lobby of The Hollywood Roosevelt when I saw her lunching in the hotel's restaurant. Even from that distance, she’s hard to miss. Interrupting someone while they eat is an understood no-no so I respectfully stood outside the restaurant to wait. I was talking with the hostess when a waiter overheard our conversation. He said Angelyne likes it when people recognize her. This was good news.

Still refining my pitch, I hatched a plan: I’d lure her in with a couple of shots of us together then ring her with the ol', “Now can you take a picture of me?” Let's see how that goes.

She eventually walked out of the dining area and I moved in for the setup. “Excuse me,” I said sweetly. “Can you pose for a picture with me?” So far so good but then—she said no. Oh sure, it’s a fair answer but one I wasn’t expecting since all she seems to do is post pictures of herself everywhere. She said she couldn’t because her agent wouldn’t let her. What?!? This was going all wrong.

Bargaining, I asked if she would instead just, please, take a picture of me. “I don’t know how to use the camera,” she said with a straight face. She tried to rush away but her uncomfortably high-heeled shoes and tight leopard-print miniskirt were clearly limiting her speed. She kept repeating that she didn't know how to use the camera while waving her business card at me to come and get it. What a tease. I got the card and let her go.

Seems the waiter was wrong about that whole she likes to be recognized business.

I later learned that she charges people 25 bucks to take a picture with her and, in order to keep her mystique alive, she partially covers her face with a fan. I also heard that a TV miniseries was recently made about her, but ironically someone else is playing her part so Angelyne isn't even in that.

She pulls you in with the revealing clothes, then she runs away in the sexy shoes. She tauntingly waves her card with an alluring photo on the front, then the card chases you away with the $20 charge on the back. I appreciate her bold self-promotion but I still don't know what she does.