BILL MAHER

Raleigh Studios

Hollywood, CA

June 5, 2003

Photo attempt: Bill Maher

It was a warm summer night and I was in Hollywood at a party brimming with good-looking, surgically enhanced women. (I don't know it for a fact, I just know it's true.) FHM hosted this exclusive event. Formally called For Him Magazine, this popular men's lifestyle publication was loaded with man-friendly articles and featured scantily clad cover girls. I wasn’t aware of a formal dress code for this event but based on what I saw, skin was in—as were bellybutton rings and body glitter.

On this night, FHM was introducing its picks for the 100 Sexiest Women in the World. After looking around, I’d guess the chosen hotties were in attendance—along with their top 100 gorgeous friends, and their top 100 handsome dates.

This party was chock full of attractive people which was noticeably and statistically unnatural.

As I scanned the room, I spotted the outspoken and often controversial comedian Bill Maher standing with a female friend. I didn’t recognize her but for the purpose of this story, let’s call her Violet. The two were admiring the partygoers and seemed approachable, so I headed over to say hello. “Hello,” Bill said cautiously.

At the time, he was hosting a popular show on Comedy Central called Politically Incorrect. Being that My Celebrity Photo Album is socially incorrect, I was pretty confident Mr. Maher would like this idea so I made my pitch. “I have this celebrity photo album. It’s just a bunch of pictures of me taken by celebrities...” They were listening.

“Will you take my picture?” I asked. He smiled and with an encouraging chuckle he said, “Sure.” I like to think that my game-changing idea intrigued him because once they had control of the camera Bill and Violet came to life.

It started with him taking a simple picture of me, as requested. Luckily, I had a friend standing nearby who caught this magical moment on film. As Bill started to hand my camera back, Violet intercepted and asked if I wanted a photo of the two of us together. I accepted her kind offer and at that point, I had more than I’d come for, so I thanked them both and went on my way.

But here’s where it gets weird: when I picked up my photos from the developer, the photo Bill took was nowhere to be found. I checked the negatives and it wasn’t there either. Could it be that Mr. Maher went through the motions to take my picture but intentionally didn’t push the button? That's unlikely. He seems to be the kind of guy who would fall on a sword for the truth so why would he bother faking it?

Or, maybe—and just hear me out—since Bill is known for going against the grain, and my request goes against the grain, does that mean that together we were going with the grain? Maybe this double negative erased my negative.

As you can see, this head-scratcher has yet to be solved.

Until then, Bill, whether you intended to take the photo or not, you held my camera and pointed it at me. For that I am grateful. Thanks again for playing along!

Photo credit: My friend standing nearby

Photo credit: Violet