NORM MACDONALD

Tompkins Square

Westchester, CA

October 7, 2015

Photo credit: Norm Macdonald

Every Wednesday night for a few years, some neighbors and I would get together to play trivia at our local sports bar. It was a cool little place with a hometown vibe on a busy corner in LA. It had the ambiance of Mo’s from The Simpsons, and the character of Cheers, from the ‘80s. People never yelled Norm! when anybody walked in the door, but on this night we could have.

I was sitting along the wall in a vinyl half-circle booth, waiting for our game to start and talking to my teammate across the table when I glanced over his shoulder and—holy crap if that isn't Norm Macdonald! He was in the next booth facing my way.

I didn’t need confirmation as I am a huge fan, but this seemed too good to be true. I wanted someone else to enjoy this sighting so I double-checked with my friend sitting next to me. Yep, that’s him. I sat fascinated with excitement for a moment as I recalled some of his career highlights.

Even though it didn’t seem like he was going anywhere I felt an urgency to make my move. I stood up. This caught his attention. I didn’t have time to make this look like a casual encounter so I waved. He waved back. It only took three steps before I was standing in front of his table. Once there I said, "Hi. I don't want to blow your cover.” I knelt down and proceeded, “This is kind of weird, but I have this celebrity photo album. It's just a bunch of pictures of me taken by celebrities.” He smirked and like a reflex, said, “Oh, that's funny.”

His dry delivery and wry smile were reminiscent of an unforgettable character he played on Saturday Night Live: Burt Reynolds wearing the oversized hat. Funny, he said, just like Burt.

"Will you take my picture?” I asked. He was amused. "Yeah!" he said, and he reached for the camera. I started to explain, “The picture can be anything, I just have to be in it. Like, I could be way over there…” I said, as I pointed across the bar.

Click.

Or not.

The flash didn’t go off so he wasn't sure that it worked. He took another. I thanked him and before I went back to my table I had to ask, “Is it true that you were fired for not being funny?” “That's what they said,” he responded. I shook my head in disbelief, touched his arm, and reassuringly said, “You are really funny.” As though he needed that from me.

Within a few minutes, the rest of his group arrived. Turns out they all came to play trivia, playing under the team name Potato. Now, mine is usually a top-ranking team, but tonight we were neck and neck with these new spuds. So, although I admired him greatly while I was over at his table, back at my own table he was the competition and my goal was to take him down.

For the next two hours, it felt as though life was imitating art. He created a popular Burt Reynolds character for a skit where he was playing Celebrity Jeopardy. Now and then I would look over remembering parts of that skit and laugh. Inside. Where it counts.

As it turned out, this new guy was pretty smart. Potato scored the highest points of the night with their final, 20-point answer to this question: Situated on the Gulf of Aden and the Indian Ocean, which African nation has the longest coastline?

Nope. Somalia.

So technically his team won the game, but winning isn’t everything. To our benefit, Potato had more team members than was allowed so my group took home the prize money. Better luck next time, Potato.

Norm's team became regulars at our weekly trivia game so we often played against him, his mom, David Spade, and a variety of his celebrity friends who he brought through the years. I didn’t talk to him much, but at the time he was a voice actor on the animated TV show Mike Tyson Mysteries. He played an obnoxious, alcoholic, crude-talking city bird who spoke Chinese and was unusually fond of watching pornography. One day when Norm and I were sitting back to back in neighboring booths, I turned around and said, "I keep hearing Pigeon." He seemed to think that was a pleasant surprise. I don't imagine the foul-mouthed fowl is a character he is often recognized for.

I didn't walk those initial three steps to his table with the goal of trying to make him laugh, but what an amazing compliment. He was a tough critic, known for being the most difficult judge on the reality show Last Comic Standing. He could be scathingly honest.

Thanks for making me laugh over the past 30 years, Norm, and thanks for these pictures. You are absolutely one of my favorite comedians and I’m beyond thrilled that you liked the idea behind My Celebrity Photo Album.